The Humorous Side Of Aging
What’s so humorous about growing previous? Not an entire lot, in line with the wisest man who ever lived. Here’s what Solomon stated about our “Golden Years:”
Honor and enjoy your Creator whereas you are still young,
Before the years take their toll and your vigor wanes,
Before your vision dims and the world blurs
And the winter years keep you near the hearth.
In previous age, your physique no longer serves you so well.
Muscles slacken, grip weakens, joints stiffen.
The shades are pulled down on the world.
You cannot come and go at will. Issues grind to a halt.
The hum of the family fades away.
You’re wakened now by fowl-tune.
Hikes to the mountains are a thing of the past.
Even a stroll down the road has its terrors.
Your hair turns apple-blossom white,
Adorning a fragile and impotent matchstick physique.
Sure, you are nicely on your method to eternal relaxation,
While your pals make plans for your funeral.
Life, lovely while it lasts, is soon over.
Life as we realize it, precious games games games shirt and stunning, ends.
The physique is put again in the identical ground it came from.
The spirit returns to God, who first breathed it.
Ecclesiastes 12:1-7 (The Message)
Old King Solomon stated all of it, did not he? Certain, aches and pains aren’t a lot fun. Getting wrinkles together with a bigger stomach (or butt) is not much of a giggle both. And say, those mirrors are getting downright vicious! Tell me, do you make a buying checklist because you understand you cannot trust your memory, and then go off and forget the listing? Yep, been there and accomplished that. So my fellow maturing baby boomers, apart from joining the vampires in avoiding mirrors and taping our grocery checklist to our wrist, how can we greatest cope with the aging dilemma?
I say quotable quotes! That is right; let’s games games games shirt turn to probably the most humorous quotes we can find on aging and see if that does not help ease the burden of seeing too method too many candles obvious at us on the birthday cake.
Here is the cream of the crop — or a minimum of the best I’ve been in a position to dig up:
“You can solely be young once. But you may always be immature.” Dave Barry (1947-) American humorist
“The secret of staying young is to reside honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” Lucille Ball (1911-1989) American actress
“If you wish to recapture your youth, simply reduce off his allowance.” Al Bernstein American writer and actor
“There isn’t any fool like an previous idiot — you can’t beat experience.” Jacob Morton Braude (1896-1970) American author, author
“By the point you’re eighty years old you have learned every little thing. You solely have to recollect it.” George Burns (1896-1996) American comedian and actor
“I can not understand why I flunked American historical past. When I was a child there was so little of it.” George Burns
“If you live to the age of 100 you will have it made as a result of very few individuals die past the age of a hundred.” George Burns
“Good to be right here? At my age it’s good to be wherever.” George Burns
“Outdated age is once you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated as a result of there are fewer articles to learn.” George Burns
“No man is aware of he’s younger whereas he’s young.” G. Ok. Chesterton (1874-1936) English author
“Outdated age is not so dangerous when you consider the alternate options.” Maurice Chevalier (1888-1972) French actor and singer
“He’s so previous that his blood sort was discontinued.” Invoice Dana (1924- ) American comedian, actor and screenwriter
“I’m on the age the place meals has taken the place of intercourse in my life. In fact, I’ve simply had a mirror put over my kitchen table.” Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004) American comic and actor
“The really frightening thing about center age is that you know you’ll grow out of it.” Doris Day (1924- ) American actress, singer
“One of the many things no one ever tells you about middle age is that it’s such a nice change from being young.” Dorothy Canfield Fisher (1879-1958) American author
“I get up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary web page. If my identify just isn’t on it, I rise up.” Harry Hershfield (1885-1974) American comedian artist
“Center age is when you still believe you may feel higher within the morning.” Bob Hope (1903-2003) American comic, actor
“Middle age is when your age begins to indicate across the middle.” Bob Hope
“If you do not be taught to chortle at bother, you won’t have anything to chortle at when you’re outdated.” Edgar Watson Howe (1853-1937) American journalist
“Whenever a man’s pals begin to praise him about trying younger, he might ensure that they think he’s growing outdated.” Washington Irving (1783-1859) American creator
“Age just isn’t a particularly attention-grabbing topic. Anybody can get previous. All it’s important to do is reside lengthy enough.” Groucho Marx (1890-1977) American comic
“Old age is like flying by means of a storm. As soon as you’re aboard, there’s nothing you are able to do.” Golda Meir (1898-1978) Prime Minister of Israel
“A stockbroker urged me to purchase a inventory that will triple its value every year. I instructed him, ”At my age, I do not even buy inexperienced bananas.’ ” Claude D. Pepper (1900-1989) Florida Senator and a Representative
“Some develop bitter with age; the more their teeth drop out, the extra biting they get.” George D. Prentice (1802-1870)
“The denunciation of the young is a essential a part of the hygiene of older people, and tremendously assists within the circulation of their blood.” Logan Pearsall Smith (1865-1946)
“I am so lonesome; they are all dying; I have hardly a warm personal enemy left.” James McNeill Whistler (1834-1903) American painter, etcher, and wit
“I’m not younger sufficient to know every thing.” Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Irish author and wit
“As long as a woman can look ten years youthful than her own daughter, she is completely glad.” Oscar Wilde
There, did that help? Yeah, I know. Among the quotes aren’t that funny. I just threw them in to see if you happen to were nonetheless awake. Why don’t you memorize a few of these quotations and check out them out on a outdated buddy or two. You may brighten up their day. Or they might simply hold up their ear trumpet and cry, “Eh?”
If I have not listed your favorite aging quote, email it to me and I’ll include it in the following article.
I imagine you finally turn out to be whatever you permit your thoughts to consider. So if you want to be happy during the “senior years,” my advice is: start a group of humorous quotes. It positive beats mulling over your aches and pains! Who is aware of, after a couple of inspiring words from George Burns or Oscar Wilde, even that previous buzzard you see in the mirror may begin to look more chirpy.